Well, welcome.

Not sure if this post will actually "take" or not. It's my third try. I'm doing something wrong, I guess. I think the first post was too long. I think I hit the wrong "post" button for my second.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm barely computer literate. I'm lucky I know how to turn my iMac on and type at all.

So, here we are on Holy Thursday. Last night was a rehearsal for all the RCIA grads, so we know what to do on Saturday night. My husband, myself and 23 or so other folks. Not including the children. I'm excited. I'm nervous. Big formal things like this always make me nervous, and this Easter Vigil is ten times more complex than our wedding was. I'm being conditionally baptized (my baptismal certificate is missing), and then, of course, my husband and I are both being confirmed and both receiving our first Communion. Our kids are pretty young, so we're doing their profession of faith and acceptance into the church a week from Saturday, I think. After things have settled down a bit.

I get to bring the wine forward during Easter Vigil. My heart sunk when the priest first told me I was to do it because I could picture myself tripping and splattering wine every which way. But now I think it's a great privilege. So if you happen to be reading this, pray that I don't trip, okay?

I made my first Confession today. Having 30+ years to build up a list of sins is pretty intimidating. I walked to the cathedral, and I was in tears two blocks before I got there, so I had to go to the ladies room to settle myself down before I headed to the confessionals. The priest was exceedingly kind and patient with me. At our parish, we're allowed to go through the 10 Commandments for our first confession, just to help us get through it more efficiently, I suppose.

My list was long. And that was me trying to hit the highlights and speak in general terms like, "I have participated in gossip more times than I can count." By comparison, I thought my penance was light. I would have been much tougher on myself. Can you multiply your penance a little -- like do twice as much as the priest asks of you -- or is that disrespectful? A question for my sponsor, I guess.

I was very glad to say the Act of Contrition and to hear the words of Absolution. I wish I could say I feel completely fresh and clean. Maybe I will after receiving the Eucharist? I guess it's best to let these feelings grow, rather than try to conjure them up or analyze yourself to death wondering why the feelings aren't quite there. I am glad I went. Back when I was still a Protestant, I didn't see the need for confession. After living on this earth for so long and failing in my moral resolve time and time again, I've come to think it's crucial.

Now if I can just manage to stay out of mortal sin from now until Easter Vigil.

--Sparki