I'm pretty much a get-off-your-butt-and-do-something person. I don't like it when bad things happen to people. I want to be able to fix things.

Being in a situation like this, with my brother-in-law's crisis weighing on me, is especially hard. I know that I can't meddle. There's nothing I can say to him that would make everything okay. Even if Heidi would talk to me, I don't have much to offer. And I don't think she'd listen to me even if I did. I can't fix things for their little girl, either. All I can do is pray.

In my head, I know that prayer is a wonderful thing, a powerful thing. But in times like this, prayer feels like it's nothing. Maybe because it's so easy to do. Maybe because I have this old Prostestant carry-over notion that the only thing prayer changes is the person who is praying. Maybe because I know deep down inside that I am such a novice at prayer. Maybe because I'm impatient -- it seems like prayer leads to long-term solutions when I want so much for an immediate answer so all the yuck can come to an end now.

--Sparki