Fonticulus Fides

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I know God answers prayers…

…and I don’t have any trouble praying for other people. So why is it so hard for me to go to God with my own needs?

There’s been a lot weighing on my mind lately, but I’ve been too afraid or pig-headed or something to take it before the Lord, even though if it were anybody else, I’d tell them to pray over these things and trust God. So this morning, being the first of a new month and all, I finally sat myself down and forced myself to write out a list.

It’s dismaying to see everything scribbled out in black and white. Well, blue and white, but you know what I mean. I have thought very carefully about each item, though, to make sure it’s a legitimate need and not just a want. And I am taking these things to God in prayer. Plus, later today when I have time, I am going to find some patron saints on some of these issues and ask them to pray with me.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I created a similar list for him, and God very quickly enabled us to cross every item off, one by one. I don’t know how long it will take me to fulfill the current list for my family, or even if I will be able to cross every item off, but I know that taking it to God is the right thing to do.

In the hope of inspiring others to faith, I am going to post most of my list here today and keep my few readers informed as God answers my prayers. I removed a couple things that need to remain private for personal reasons – I’m sure you understand. Even so, the length and scope of my list is embarrassing to me. But it’s time to put aside pride and take it to God. I can’t hide from Him anyway – He knows we need these things. So here it is. If you’d like to pray with me on any of these issues, I’d sure appreciate it.

Things We Need Now

More income for my husband’s side business.

More freelance income for me, because we’re paycheck-to-paycheck now and it’s time for me to market some of my skills.

Money to pay our 2003 taxes…and 2004, too. It’s a long story, but basically the deal is you can have too many deductions taken out of your check, even if the total number isn’t any more than the number of people in your family.

A new furnace, before the cold weather set sin.

Things We Will Need Very Soon

A vehicle to replace our 15-year-old van.

A new car seat for Laurel, who will soon outgrow her infant seat.

A solution for our basement foundation, which is brick and 85 years old, and shifting badly in some places. Re-mortaring isn’t working.

A few winter items for the children. Zooey needs school pants (at least 3 pairs), Edyn needs boots and will probably outgrow her shoes in another month, and Laurel needs a snowsuit.

Dental work for me.

Exterior house primer & paint and time (or workers) to paint it. (We started painting last year, then I got pregnant and the weather turned cold. Only the front of the house and part of one side was completed, but the whole thing was scraped. We need to get the paint on because there is so much exposed wood siding. But we didn’t store the paint & primer properly, and it’s all ruined. Now we can’t afford to start over…and can’t afford not to. )

Money to pay off few miscellaneous debts.

Things We Will Probably Need Within a Year

A solution for our leaky windows.

A new water heater.

Some sort of savings to fall back on in lean months, so this paycheck-to-paycheck thing isn’t so bad when it happens.

Things We Need But Can Put Off for a While Longer

Savings for the children’s education, weddings, etc.

A new mattress. (We got a cheap one when we were married 10 years ago, and it’s in pretty sorry shape. One of those “you get what you pay for” lessons.)

New clothes for me. (I did finally manage to buy a church-worthy outfit a couple months ago, but the rest of my clothing was all purchased before I got pregnant with Zooey, and he’s five. I don’t mind hanging out in the house in holey jeans and shabby t-shirts, but the fact of the matter is, what I have isn’t going to survive too many more trips through the washing machine.)


Okay, that's it. A tall order, to be sure, but I have faith that God will help us get exactly what we need, when we need it, as long as we keep working hard and faithfully serve Him and our neighbors.



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