Fonticulus Fides

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Prayer request

My dad went in for a colonostomy Monday, and the initial findings weren't terribly promising. The doctor ordered a rush biopsy, so we'll know tomorrow whether or not Dad has cancer.

If you would be so kind as to pray for my dad, and my mom (who is so dependant on him), I'd appreciate it. Also, please pray for me, because I don't quite know how to handle things with my aging parents. We are virtually estranged, due to a lack of harmony between them and my husband, philosophical differences, and a legitimate fear for my children's safety. Let's just say there is a reason I have chosen to keep a great deal of geographical distance between us.

But now they are getting older and their health is failing. My dad is in worse shape, having survived prostrate cancer and 40-some years of heart disease already. His hearing has deteriorated from the partial deafness I have always known him to have to the point where he can't talk on the phone at all. My mom is only a little better off with her own heart conditions, polio relapse and arthritis. And those are just the things I know about.

My biggest fear is a potential suicide pact between them. In February 2004, my mom's sister and brother-in-law took their own lives to avoid a "long and painful death" and my mom has always considered their actions to be heroic. I asked my mom not to do the same, and she said they wouldn't, but in my family, that's not a promise to count on. They are not people of traditional Christian faith. They sort of make up their own religion, adding or dropping theological theories as it suits their moods and opinions.

For many years, I've thought I should be doing something, but I have long been forbidden to speak with them about religion. (One of the mistakes I made as a newly "saved" Evangelical was to tell everybody my view was right and theirs was wrong.) I admit to thinking, faithlessly, that it's too late to change them now.

It's not too late for the Lord God Almighty to reach out to ANY person, though. So I pray that their souls will be okay, and I ask you to join me in that prayer.

Meanwhile, they have growing physical needs that must be addressed. My brother reported to me some time ago that our parents' house is falling into disrepair. If my dad does have cancer or does get the knee replacement surgery he needs or if anything else happens to him or Mom, they will need a lot of help, and none of us kids live in the same state. I have my hands full here in Nebraska -- I can't just leave my small kids for a month or two months or three months or more to go take care of my parents, even if I had the money for a plane ticket and a rental car.

I feel conflicting obligations -- like many in my generation, with aging parents on one side and the very young children we had so late in life on the other. And because of the family history, I feel like I have blinders on and can't quite see how I can fulfill the obligaton to my parents. I can't send money. I can't go myself. And what's worse, I don't want to do either. So I need prayer, I need the Lord to show me what to do and to strengthen me to do it.



So where has Sparki been all this time?

I just haven't had much to say or much computer time for blogging. Mostly, I'm trying not to take up server space with meaningless drivel. I have been really busy, though.

Little Edyn has just about completely made the switch from diapers to toilet. There's been a lot of additional laundry and we've run into the rather silly hurdle of her legs being too short to get on the toilet herself, even with a step stool. And she won't use the potty chair any more because she's a Big Girl. (I'm not going to argue with her -- one less thing to clean!) That means dropping everything many times a day and running upstairs with her to help her take her seat.

Meanwhile, Lola has moved on from walking to running and CLIMBING! It's an odd thing to come up from the basement with a basket of clean clothing and find your 14-month-old standing on the kitchen counter. I can't even set up the playpen because she can climb out of that and it's too dangerous.

Zooey's doing great in school, but he's a little stir-crazy from this long winter (flurries today!). My husband is working hard and just made some good money from a music thing he wrote, so we are hoping and praying for more of that. If only we could slaughter all the rest of our bills this year!

That's it for now. More when I can get back...



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