Fonticulus Fides

Friday, August 22, 2003

Well, we had our one-and-only ultrasound for this pregnancy yesterday afternoon. Everything looked just peachy to my untrained eyes, but I will have to wait a week or two to find out if the dr. confirms this, since the ultrasound tech can never tell you anything. But the baby looked a lot like our other babies did, and I was relieved to see some kicking and waving going on. I have only felt the slightest flutters from this baby, and only once in a great while. I didn't record movement with my son until 21 weeks, but in retrospect, I felt him earlier & just didn't know it was him. And with my daughter, I felt three quick jabs from her at 14 weeks, plus she liked to roll around in there, so I felt her a lot. But this baby has been more than quiet. Dh hopes that means we'll get a mellow baby this time. And he's right, we could use one.

I worry sometimes about how I will be able to be the AP mom I want to be with three kids, especially when the two youngest are so close together. FWIW, I worried about this the last time, too, but our daughter arrived just as Zooey was understanding the difference between boys and girls, and he wanted little to do with me back then. He would say, "Dad and I are boys, and you and the baby are girls," and happily tag along with my husband, leaving me to tend to the baby at her pace. Most of the time, anyway. There certainly have been difficult half-hours in which all three of us were crying!

The new baby will arrive about the same time Edyn turns 19 months, and I remember the year-and-a-half stage being a particularly clingy one. Already, if she sees Zooey on my lap, Edyn will show jealousy, and Zoo has alwaysbeen part of the deal for her. How will she react to a newcomer? Especially if it is during a "I need Mommy" stage?

Zooey has been a bit clingy, too, lately. I think it has something to do with starting preschool and having more responsibilities now that he is four. And maybe also because he knows a baby is on the way, and he already has an idea of how things can change a lot. I'm sure that once he gets the hang of school and the few new things we are asking him to do, he will be more comfortable about things. All I can do now is try to read his signals and give him as much extra cuddling and chatting and loving as he seems to need.

Maybe due to the ultrasound or maybe due to the fact that I've actually been able to eat relatively normal foods all week, I'm feeling quite excited about this baby for the first time. I mean, I've been happy to be blessed with another child, but now I'm excited. And where I was utterly convinced we were having a boy (even buying some things for a winter baby boy at a thrift shop last week), I'm now utterly convinced we're having another girl. Stay tuned -- if this is anything like my first pregnancy, I'll be changing my mind about that every 5-7 days.



Post a Comment

<< Home